Bättre historia får man leta efter

I am a Pole and so can You: I am a pole, that much is clear to me, but just what type of pole could I possibly be? I tried to be a pole for vaulting, but I couldn't seem to bend. I would love to be a ski pole, but for that I'd need a friend. I wished I was the north pole and marked the home of Santa, or even just a gallop poll calling voters in Atlanta. I considered firemans and fishing, was a totem for some time, and even tried to be a stripper pole but I couldn't stand the grind. But then one day in my depths of despair, some scouts brought me old glory as something to wear, and while she danced and she waved it became clear to me. I'm the best kind of pole you can possibly be. I'm an American flag pole. Now pledge allegiance or else!    

     -Stephen Colbert