word

Bara för att SNL är bäst. Läs så förstår ni. 

“When you first start dating a guy you have to keep things light and casual. Before you tell him you love him, you have to tell him a lot of other things first.”

Tell him that you don’t believe in marriage,
tell him that you don’t care if you have kids
tell him, tell him, tell him all lies

You need to tell him that you love watching hockey
tell him that you play ‘Call Of Duty’
tell him that you’re a total nerd and you love reading comics

“Okay, so early on I have to lie to him a little. But once we’re dating we’re just honest with each other, right?”

“No. Then you enter a new phase of lies. I call it, maintaining the mystery.”

Tell him that you are open to a three-way
tell him that you watch porn every day
tell him that you are not grossed out when he says the word panties

I know something about men
And they never want to know
how us women keep it all up
You have to hide it
If you want him to stay pine after you
Then you have to hide the things all women do

Tell him that you’re naturally hairless
Make him think that you never use the bathroom
And then when he’s asleep you can run to Starbucks

Then you know it will be
true love from fairytales
You’ll both be happy
But if he tries to bail…

Tell him that you’re pregnant and it’s his kid
Tell him that you need to get married
Tell him, tell him, tell him right now